OK... I need to write this down before I forget!  So, the other day, after I put Diego on for Sean, he says "You are the best mommy ever"!  Mommy success!  Soon to be followed by a mommy fail.  We are being tested by Sean to the n-th degree.  I try to be patient but sometimes (OK - a lot of time) my patience wanes.  I tend to be a yeller.  I admit it.  Well, mommy fail alert!  LBM says he's scared of mommy and daddy because we "well at him".  Sad face.  I need to be better so I will try.  This is all followed by a mommy success.  Last night, I had to judge a student competition at OSU COP.  Mark was telling Sean that mommy was at work.  Sean then says "Mommy is my best friend".  Made me cry when I got home and Mark told me about it. 

Some other Sean-insms: 

• Be-ha!  Instead of Yee Haa!
• Wook at me!

Andrew is doing AWESOME!  Sleeps like a champ, eats like a champ (although not a fan of drinking from the bottle.  Likes it straight from the tap!), is crawling, pulling up, cruising, standing on his own and can motor up the stairs - all at 10 months old.  He babbles when he wants but is the strong silent type.  He LOVES his big brother and his doggie.  I can't believe in 2 short months, I will really no longer have a "baby".  It's a bit sad but that's the way things go. 

This ride called parenthood is not easy.  I'm trying my best and I guess that's all I can ask!  I love my boys and I think they love me - live is good!

OK... still not good at doing this on a regular basis BUT I have a goal!

So... last time I promised I would do this more regularly.  I don't want to forget all of the funny stuff going on here.  But, time gets in the way.  Andrew is now almost 8 months old.  He is such a "chill" baby.  Happy, healthy and has such a great laugh.  I tell mom all of the time that his smile reminds me of Nan - it lights up his whole face.  He's getting ready to crawl - on all fours and rocking back and forth.  Soon, he will be mobile! 

Sean is such a joy (and challenge - but what 2 1/2 year old isn't?).  He is willful, stubborn and has a smidge of a temper - but what do you expect with me as a mom?  He's also bright, energetic, loving, empathetic, wonderful little boy.  He loves dinosaurs, trains, cars, trucks and the like.  He's able to hit a ball out of the air with a paper towel tube at 2 1/2!  He loves to play games and has a great imagination.  He's rough and tumble and all boy when it comes to play - and I love that about him!  He loves to "help" me do things - as long as it's his idea!  There are a million things I need to write about and I will try to do it more often (I know I said that before!).  BUT - I have a new laptop at home - so that's one of my goals!

Sean LOVES his little brother, and Andrew ADORES his big brother.  I can't wait to see them grow up together. 

So I really have problems living in the "now" as I call it.  I have always been 10 steps ahead of things in my mind - this has caused problems with where I am in body!  So I have been really trying to slow it down and remember to enjoy this ride.  So, a poem to share (and probably make you tear up!):

To My Grown-Up Son

My hands were busy through the day,

I didn’t have much time to play

The little games you asked me to

I didn’t have much time for you.

I’d wash your clothes; I’d sew and cook

But when you’d bring your picture book

And ask me, please, to share your fun,

I’d say, “A little later, son.”

I’d tuck you in all safe at night,

And hear your prayers, turn out the light,

Then tiptoe softly to the door,

I wish I’d stayed a minute more.

For life is short, and years rush past,

A little boy grows up so fast,

No longer is he at your side,

His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,

There are no children’s games to play,

No goodnights kiss, no prayers, to hear,

That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy, now lie still,

The days are long and hard to fill,

I wish I might go back and do,

The little things you asked me to.

 

- Alice E. Chase

So, while I try to stay in the moment and make time for my boys, I will also try to make time to write about their exploits.  That's my goal.  

Soooo.... It's been a while, hasn't it?

I have been thinking about keeping track of things on this and realized I am terrible at doing it!  So, I have new resolve to make sure I at least write a few times a week.  Sooooooo... what's happened since our last update?

Well, we had a new addition to the family.  On April 3, 2012 at 9:05PM, we welcomed Andrew James Kuschner.  You often hear how each child is different and boy is it true!  Sean was a good sleeper from almost the beginning but not much of an eater.  That was evidenced by the fact that he never got above 25% in weight (and he had reflux so he was a projectile spitter!).  Andrew, contrary to this, LOVES to eat.  At 4 months, he is still waking once in the middle of the night to eat.  I think we have our left tackle to protect big brother!

First smile for both boys

Both boys at 4 months old

Things keep rolling along in our household.  We are in the midst of the "terrible twos" and are awaiting the beginning of the threes - I hear it's just as bad!  Sean is definitely my kid - willful, obstinate, stubborn and temperamental.  I love him!  We are also just waiting to see who Andrew is going to be.  Right now, he smiles all the time (unless he's tired, hungry, or dirty) and is discovering himself - hands, feet, mouth, legs, everything.  He's "talking" a lot, too - not surprisingly since we ALL talk ALL the time! 

Andrew - love the cheeks!

Sean - fearless climber!

I just want to try to savor this time and remember how they are at this stage.  I don't want to wish it away! 

Reflection

So as I have mentioned before in these posts, I am following a blog about a couple who lost their baby boy at 8 months to a brain tumor.  I am humbled when I read their words because I am constantly reminded of how fragile our time here is and how important my time with my Sean (and soon to be baby #2) is.  I pray for this couple every night when Sean and I say our night time prayers.  And I hope, every night, that I can be a better mom to my boy - more patient, more loving, more... well.... everything.  I am really trying to do the right things but sometimes I feel like I falter.  I guess that's motherhood for you - you never feel like you're doing it right.

On a lighter note, I am trying to commit to memory the fun/interesting/cute/AMAZING things that Sean is doing.  He's almost 18 months and it's soooo hard to believe that 1.5 years ago, he was still inside me.  He's walking/running/climbing (everything), talking (a LOT), asking questions, and all around just frickin' cute!  His latest is "I'm stuck" whenever he can't do something.  Here are some other "Sean-isms" that I want to remember:

•  Need help - he needs help (pretty self explanatory)
• Want help - he wants to help out
• Want down - wants down
• Want Pooh - wants his pooh
• I done - he's done doing whatever he's doing - usually eating

We have started time out for hitting.  Now, we have a "time out stool".  After he's done with TO, I ask for a hug and let him know I love him.  However, the smart bugger has started saying "hug" about 10 seconds after he gets put on the TO stool - he knows the Hug is the end of TO!!!!

Next post... We find out today whether it's Pink or Blue for BK2!!!!

Amazed by my son

For those of you who have already seen your children grow from infancy to toddler-hood, you will likely say "been there, done that."  For me, it's all new and exciting.  A mere 24 months or so ago, my son was still two different cells that hadn't even combined yet.  Now, he's walking, talking (and believe me, he knows what he's saying!), running, understanding and (sometimes) following commands, and all around a miracle!  I don't know if we often stop to think of the miracle of life - that we start out as two cells that meet by chance and grow into (hopefully) productive human beings.  I think about it all the time whenever I see his smiling face light up when he's discovered something new.  He amazes me every day!  I only hope I continue to take the time to marvel in his accomplishments and remember where he started.

Now that there is a new life brewing, I continue to be amazed that it starts out so simply but turns out so complex and wonderful.  True proof that there is a God!  I'm trying to savor each moment and hope it lasts. 

Surprise.....

We interrupt the regularly schedule program for an important message.

On 7/23/11, at approximately 1:30pm, we got a positive pregnancy test.

Yep, boys and girls, Sean's gonna be a big brother!  God's gifts are great!

Welcoming baby.....

As I said previously, my pregnancy was pretty easy.  The delivery was also pretty easy - once the epidural was in place!  I never was one for "natural childbirth".  By nature of my chosen profession, I felt that if God gave us the smarts to make good pain relief, I was going to use it!  My water broke at 9PM on 5/15.  We did what we were supposed to - called the doc and went to the hospital.  Several hours later - back at home.  "Failure to progress" and uncertainty that my water actually broke.  Ambien on board (not a decision I regret but probably one I won't duplicate), I was pretty much out of it... until the back labor started.  Wow.  That really smarted!  Finally, back to the hospital at 6ish the next morning, I was dilated to 4-5 and ready to get the epidural.  We both tolerated it well and at 4:15 that afternoon, I was ready to push.  Considering my wonky contraction pattern (even on Pitocin), I got to push for 2.5 hours.  But it was all worth it when that beautiful boy was placed on my belly - 7 pounds, 8 ounces of pure joy!  We had our son and he was perfect!  Now, we were expected to take him home, raise him and not to screw it up!

Next up.... surprise!!!!!