Reflection

So as I have mentioned before in these posts, I am following a blog about a couple who lost their baby boy at 8 months to a brain tumor.  I am humbled when I read their words because I am constantly reminded of how fragile our time here is and how important my time with my Sean (and soon to be baby #2) is.  I pray for this couple every night when Sean and I say our night time prayers.  And I hope, every night, that I can be a better mom to my boy - more patient, more loving, more... well.... everything.  I am really trying to do the right things but sometimes I feel like I falter.  I guess that's motherhood for you - you never feel like you're doing it right.

On a lighter note, I am trying to commit to memory the fun/interesting/cute/AMAZING things that Sean is doing.  He's almost 18 months and it's soooo hard to believe that 1.5 years ago, he was still inside me.  He's walking/running/climbing (everything), talking (a LOT), asking questions, and all around just frickin' cute!  His latest is "I'm stuck" whenever he can't do something.  Here are some other "Sean-isms" that I want to remember:

•  Need help - he needs help (pretty self explanatory)
• Want help - he wants to help out
• Want down - wants down
• Want Pooh - wants his pooh
• I done - he's done doing whatever he's doing - usually eating

We have started time out for hitting.  Now, we have a "time out stool".  After he's done with TO, I ask for a hug and let him know I love him.  However, the smart bugger has started saying "hug" about 10 seconds after he gets put on the TO stool - he knows the Hug is the end of TO!!!!

Next post... We find out today whether it's Pink or Blue for BK2!!!!

Amazed by my son

For those of you who have already seen your children grow from infancy to toddler-hood, you will likely say "been there, done that."  For me, it's all new and exciting.  A mere 24 months or so ago, my son was still two different cells that hadn't even combined yet.  Now, he's walking, talking (and believe me, he knows what he's saying!), running, understanding and (sometimes) following commands, and all around a miracle!  I don't know if we often stop to think of the miracle of life - that we start out as two cells that meet by chance and grow into (hopefully) productive human beings.  I think about it all the time whenever I see his smiling face light up when he's discovered something new.  He amazes me every day!  I only hope I continue to take the time to marvel in his accomplishments and remember where he started.

Now that there is a new life brewing, I continue to be amazed that it starts out so simply but turns out so complex and wonderful.  True proof that there is a God!  I'm trying to savor each moment and hope it lasts. 

Surprise.....

We interrupt the regularly schedule program for an important message.

On 7/23/11, at approximately 1:30pm, we got a positive pregnancy test.

Yep, boys and girls, Sean's gonna be a big brother!  God's gifts are great!

Welcoming baby.....

As I said previously, my pregnancy was pretty easy.  The delivery was also pretty easy - once the epidural was in place!  I never was one for "natural childbirth".  By nature of my chosen profession, I felt that if God gave us the smarts to make good pain relief, I was going to use it!  My water broke at 9PM on 5/15.  We did what we were supposed to - called the doc and went to the hospital.  Several hours later - back at home.  "Failure to progress" and uncertainty that my water actually broke.  Ambien on board (not a decision I regret but probably one I won't duplicate), I was pretty much out of it... until the back labor started.  Wow.  That really smarted!  Finally, back to the hospital at 6ish the next morning, I was dilated to 4-5 and ready to get the epidural.  We both tolerated it well and at 4:15 that afternoon, I was ready to push.  Considering my wonky contraction pattern (even on Pitocin), I got to push for 2.5 hours.  But it was all worth it when that beautiful boy was placed on my belly - 7 pounds, 8 ounces of pure joy!  We had our son and he was perfect!  Now, we were expected to take him home, raise him and not to screw it up!

Next up.... surprise!!!!!

Back to the memories!

I really started this so I could remember some of the more precious moments of Sean's first 14 months with us.  I am not really good at keeping little things in my memory bank.  Mark would say it's because there's too much in there already!  But here are some highlights...

1. When I found out we were expecting our little bundle of joy, it was complete and utter shock!  Happy shock, but shock nonetheless.  I said words I won't put here but I don't think I will ever forget that moment.
2.  When we heard the heartbeat for the first time, we both cried tears of joy.  I was certain that we would go in there and they wouldn't find anything.  It was the most anxious few minutes I have ever had when they put the wand on my stomach until we heard the "woosh woosh" of his little heart!
3. When I was pregnant with Sean, and finally felt him move, it was one of the greatest joys - to know he was OK in there.  After that, it seems he never stopped moving - unless daddy tried to feel him! The hiccups were the most interesting movements and, even after he was born, he had them quite often.
4. Being pregnant was a true joy.  I know that some women really don't enjoy it - I enjoyed the heck out of it.  I was helping to create LIFE and it was a miracle of tremendous proportions.  It affirms that there is a God and that he's pretty stinking clever to create us with the ability to take two small cells and grow another human!  That's not to say the last few weeks I really wanted to be done!

 Next post... welcoming baby Sean.

Inspiration can be found everywhere...

Even when you least expect it.  The other day, I was reading one of my newsgroups on What to Expect and found this family's story.  Although tragic and sad, it truly inspired me in a way I never anticipated.  This family had an 8 month old child, James, diagnosed with a rare and aggressive brain tumor.  Within less than a month after diagnosis, James "won" his battle and was called to be with God.  While his parents, Kara and Matthew are grieving, their story is an inspiration in faith. They have indicated many times in their blog that they belief Jamsie was on loan as an angel from God.  They believe that in his passing that he was made whole and happy.  When they could be railing at God for their loss, they celebrate the life that was their son's.  Their story can be found here:  http://jamescamdensikes.blogspot.com/.  Today, they bury their only child and my heart cries for them. 

I can't imagine how I would feel if Mark and I lost Sean.  Utter devastation is what I would feel.  And anger.   Because of this twist of fate and finding this family's story, I feel changed somehow.  I am trying to look at every day with my child as a gift.  He won't eat - no worries, he's happy and healthy.  He's cranky - no worries, he's allowed to be fussy but he's here in my arms.  He throws down a crazy temper tantrum (which he has been known to do!) - no worries, he'll be fine in a bit.  He's HERE with us.  I hold him a bit tighter and love him fiercely because of a stranger's story of loss.

God works in mysterious ways. 

First time on a blog?

While a lot of these things are still fresh in my mind, I wanted to start a blog to document some of the most joyous (and sometimes trying) time in our lives.  A little background.  Girl meets boy.  Girl and boy fall in love.  After a while, they get married.  After 10 long years, several cats and a dog later, they decide that "hey - let's have kids".  Luckily, despite our ages (suffice it to say, advanced maternal age was on my chart), we were successful early in the process.

In May 2010, the big guy entered our lives and nothing has been the same since!  More to come!